I am always searching, but my heart cannot find peace.
Shared by： Mrs. Jiang, Layperson
Before I began my spiritual practice, I enjoyed a life of luxury. Making money was easy, and spending it was even more accessible. I could buy whatever I wanted without checking the price tag. I had to have taste and preferably designer brands for clothing. As for food, I had to eat the most delicious and finest quality dishes. For example, I prefer more delicate and upscale fish soup, while others enjoy shark fin soup.
I used to think that life was easy. I never lacked anything in terms of food or clothing. If I wanted a car, I could buy it with cash. So, I considered myself wealthy.
I would travel abroad twice a year and follow my intuition to decide where to go. Whenever my inner voice spoke, I would pack my bags and set off. This brought me a lot of happiness.
However, after living this way for too long, I felt like I had everything in life. I had made a lot of money through sales in life insurance, and I even had the opportunity to attend conferences in Chicago for enjoyment. But then what?
Although I received applause and praise from others, I felt empty and lonely alone.
All the various forms of vanity were hollow inside.
I felt like there was nothing left in life to attract me anymore.
It wasn't until I attended a workshop led by a spiritual teacher named Mr. Lai that I became interested in spiritual growth. He taught me about the development of the soul, which fascinated me.
Most people would think that I was living a good life. From the outside, it seemed like I had no worries, and I drove a fancy car. But my inner self was telling me that void needed to be filled. That's when I decided to pause and start seeking spiritual growth. I began to take classes with Mr. Lai and also started to learn about counseling and psychology.
When I handed Mr. Lai the first payment for his counseling, I almost cried, feeling like I wanted to kneel and thank him for helping me with this part of my life. It seems funny to me now, thinking back on it.
Joining a growth group provided me with a great source of support, so I continued participating in activities such as Life Castle, spiritual healing, essential oil therapy, sound healing, and spiritual groups. After joining these groups, I became even more curious about why my soul was lacking.
I have been searching for the answer ever since, but I have found that even though I wanted to find a way out, various conflicts in life still exist, and I cannot find peace. Therefore, I continue to search for the honest answer that will lead me to the way out.
[ To be continued... ]
⭐Reflection: After practicing cultivation and looking back on my life, I realized that all my pursuits were just materialistic desires, always wanting the best and never being satisfied with what I had. However, at that time, I could not comprehend this and continued to blindly live my life and pursue these desires because of the emptiness in my heart. I began exploring many spiritual fields, thinking I could find peace by taking so many courses. But in reality, this was not the case.
Now I understand that those pursuits were just superficial, and it was only after following the teachings of my mentor, Ms. Su, that I could change my character and indeed find peace in my heart.
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